Joe is Struggling with his Parenting Techniques
When Joe was born he was such a quiet child. He would sit in the restaurant with us doing his own thing. People would come up to us and tell us that we did a good job, that he is such a good boy and that they are very impressed. Naturally, I was proud of my parenting. After all, I read a book. I really liked the techniques in it and I decided to follow it. Him being well-behaved was all me. It was my sweat and tears. When Bill came, I realized it was not me or my parenting book. It was simply him (Joe). He is naturally a quiet child. Bill is busy busy busy . He is loud in restaurants and he loves throwing things on the floor. A couple of days ago I was at the park and I saw Bill pick up a ball threw it and then went after it. I was impressed that at such a young age he knew how to play with a ball. Then I realized for him everything is ball. As part of a joke, I was told that after Bill I should request a refund on my parenting book.
I see my Little Joe struggling with parenting every day. He is starting to understand how rough it can be. Especially, when the child you are trying to parent is Bill. Bill goes by many names in this household. My dad calls him Bor’i and that is because has a darker complexion. Bor’i is a very Egyptian name. It is my dad’s way of saying that Bill looks more Egyptian than Lebanese. I called Bill my mess making machine but then he got upgraded to my little tornado recently. This was for 2 reasons:
- Joe wanted to be called a mess making machine too. So he started making a big mess and saying:” look Rita, I am a mess making machine”.
- He earned it! He opens the toy box throws everything on the floor and walks away. Doesn’t even bother to play with them.
I was driving to a friend’s house for a playdate one day and all I hear in the back is Joe saying:” deddi deddi baby”, which means he was hitting him on his hand.
Me:” Joe why are you hitting him?”
Joe:” Cause baby did something wrong”. He said it with an attitude as it is obvious! duh!
Me:” What did he do?”
Joe:”He is putting his foot in his mouth and that is wrong”.
Me:” Did you ask Bill not to put it in his mouth before hitting him. Did you make sure to explain to him that it is wrong like mommy does when Joe does something wrong?”.
Joe looks at Bill:” NO baby that is wrong! Your foot is not clean don’t put it in your mouth”.
Me:” Good Job Joe”.
Joe:” Deddi deddi baby. Deddi”
Bill thought Joe was playing with him and started laughing really hard.
Joe shouting:”That is not funny baby. That is not funny. Stop it!”
We arrived at my friend’s house. We were sitting in the kitchen preparing the food and the kids were upstairs playing. We go check on them and Joe comes and hands me a bunch of toys.
He said:” Rita, take them. Take them all. Omar did something wrong. So you have to take them away.”
Me:” What did he do!?”
Joe:” He threw them on the ground! I told him that was wrong but he did it anyway. I was so mad and took the toys away.”
Omar was staring at us confused and I don’t blame him. Since Joe was 8 months every time he threw anything on the floor I took it away. It is the rule in our house and he felt the need to enforce it.
At home when I am around Joe tends to push Bill around and upset him but when I am in a different room he takes care of him. I hear Bill laughing so hard. I also hear Joe yelling at him:” No, No baby”. I love that when we are away Joe takes the responsibility and try to take care of Bill. It is hard to believe knowing Joe is only 3 years old.
Do you have any parenting advice for Joe!? It might come in handy.