21 Funny Mother's Day Quotes and Poems that I love

21 Funny Mother's Day Quotes and Poems that I love

Mother's day is here. Lets celebrate it with smiles and laughter. These are my favorite mother's day quotes and a couple of Poems that touched my heart. The Quote by Bob Monkhouse about keeping him fresh gets to me every time.

1. Mood Ring

“When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.” - Jeff Shaw

To be fair with us Arabs, it wasn't much of a mood ring. It was more like a flip-flop that never missed.

2. Playpen

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” - Erma Bombeck

I missed out on one of those. If you own a playpen, use it. It seems to work.

3. Good example consequences

“Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.” - William Feather

4. Kids exaggerate

“My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.”  - Unknown

5. Gifted Kids

"I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me." - Calvin, "Calvin and Hobbes"

6. Parents and shoes

“The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.” -John J. Plomp

My kids are only 1 and 3 years old and I am already starting to feel the effects of that.

7. Shoveling snow

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." - Phyllis Diller

I agree as a result I will wait until it stops snowing before I consider cleaning. My floors are always sticky no matter how many times I clean them.

8. Pick one

"Dear Mom, You get mad at me for not acting my age, and then start crying because I'm 'growing up too fast.' Sincerely, pick one!" - Unknown

9. Best house appliance you can get for your home

"Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother." – Beverly Jones

10. Informing kids is very important

"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective" - P J O'Rourke

This is effective parenting. I will put it to the test and see its glory.

11. They say experience is important

"The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed" - Unknown

I can't wait to be unemployed and get to sleep in past 5:30 AM

12. Boys

"Definition of a boy: a noise with dirt on it" - From Not Your Average Dictionary

This is here because I have 2 boys and it totally makes sense to me. It is the definition I have been waiting for my whole life.

13. Noise and Dirt

"Definition of a boy: a noise with dirt on it" - From Not Your Average Dictionary

This is here because I have 2 boys and it totally makes sense to me. It is the definition I have been waiting for my whole life.

14. Staying fresh

" My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh" - Bob Monkhouse

This cracks me up every time.

15. Who is the boss

" Kids are definitely the boss of you... Anyone who will barge into the room while you are on the commode is the boss of you. And when you explain to them that you're on the commode and that they should leave but they don't? that's a high-level boss" - Tina Fey

What type of a boss is it when he calls in his little brother and they have a meeting while you are asking them to leave.

16. Message to my mother-in-law

"Dear Mother-in-Law: I don't need you to teach me how to handle my children. I live with one of yours, and he needs a lot of improvement!" - Uknown

17. How to get your kids attention

"The quickest way for a mother to get her children's attention is to sit down and look comfortable" - Unknown

18. Marriage.

"I've been married for 14 years and I have 3 kids. Obviously, I breed well in captivity" - Roseanne Barr

19. You are in control

"Dance like only your kid is watching, cook like no one will scream they hate it, and sneeze like you won't pee your pants" - Shriekhouse

We all know that ship has sailed. I sneeze I pee! 

20. You Know Me - Holly Giffers

Mom, you know the worst of me   ●     My weaknesses and follies

I know you’ve seen me poop my pants      And cut the heads off dollies

You know all my most embarrassing moments       You know that I’m a nut

So what can I do to repay your love...      ...and make sure you keep your mouth shut!?

I should start keeping a journal of things that could come in handy in the future.

21. You’re da Bomb! - Unknown

It’s mother’s day      So thank you, Mom, 

You ought to know      That you’re da’ bomb! 

 

 

Our story... Even though I Keep Forgetting Our Anniversary... I Love You

Our story... Even though I Keep Forgetting Our Anniversary... I Love You

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